Ep 13: Sex and Pornography Addiction in Marriage with LeighAnn and Mike Schweser.

Sex and pornography addiction are coming more to the fore in the modern world as we see the effects of readily available explicit material on the internet. Today we discuss these issues with LeighAnn and Mike Schweser, a couple who have dealt with these problems in a very personal way. After 18 years of a supposedly happy marriage, Mike’s use of pornography started to become apparent to LeighAnn and even though there was denial and attempts at new habits, the problems remained for years, leading up to an affair and the near-end of their marriage. We hear from our guests about the extreme challenges that they faced, the important moments and how an undying commitment to each other and God helped them come through the struggle together. It is a conversation about a lot of difficulty and shame but also one with a huge message of hope for all listeners! The resounding theme is the compassion and understanding that Mike and LeighAnn fostered for each other in the darkest of times and this idea is great for any couples that might be struggling, no matter the issue. We hear about how this addiction is not actually about sex but more about shame and emotions, the process of learning more deeply about each other, the importance of faith in this process of healing and more. Make sure not miss this amazing story of love, hope and redemption!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • How LeighAnn and Mike met, their young marriage after school and their shared values.
  • The events that shook LeighAnn and Mike’s marriage after 18 years.
  • Feelings that came up for Mike when LeighAnn confronted him about his issues.
  • Moving to Houston, travels to Africa and the secret lives that developed for the couple.
  • The letter that Mike wrote and how LeighAnn discovered the affair he was having.
  • How LeighAnn learned about addiction and took the guilt off of herself.
  • The realizations that Mike had, attending counseling and confession and breaking the denial structures.
  • LeighAnn’s thoughts on forgiveness and the grace that God gave her.
  • Support systems and the hope that our guests found in Pure Desire.
  • The pervasiveness of struggles with pornography with today’s ease of access.
  • Why masturbation is still sex outside of marriage and is dangerous for later life practices.
  • Creating the safe space to understand each other and addiction better.
  • Mature and patient decisions about recovery and maintaining compassion for each other.
  • The amazing moments of understanding and learning through couples work together.
  • Mike’s hope in spite of denial and not knowing how he would heal.
  • Giving the seemingly impossible a chance and not giving up on a partner.
  • A final message of hope from Mike and LeighAnn!

Tweetables:

“Denial is not just a long river in Africa.” — Mike Schweser [0:08:00]

“I made mistakes in our marriage too. I could have handled things better when we started to disintegrate.” — LeighAnn Schweser [0:23:48]

“Forgiveness is such a tricky thing and so many people have so many different opinions about it.” — LeighAnn Schweser [0:33:09]

“The goal is to develop, emotionally mature and start healing those strongholds.” — Mike Schweser [0:43:25]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Mosaics of Mercy

Patrick Doyle Podcast

Pure Desire

 

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