God is not subtle with me. I also know with true surrender comes an incredible relationship of trust with Him. Lately I’ve struggled with the term “rock bottom.” I’ve said it and questioned it so many times. What is hers, what is mine, what is His, what is anyone’s? As my buddy and I threw rocks in our Colorado river this summer, He put an incredible image before my eyes. The river has been so low this year due to lack of snow, but the tubers persevere. They get in those tubes and constantly hit rock bottom. For me, I’d be out of that water at least by the second hit of rock bottom. I’d be in search of more stable ground. But for most, they just stand up and move to flowing waters and keep moving, and I watch them hit bottom again and again. This year I felt the scenery. I knew He was speaking to me. But was He showing me that I get out too soon? Was He showing me that I cannot determine another’s bottom? Was He showing me that there are smoother waters ahead? I know for sure He was giving me peace of some kind in that moment. For that I was grateful. I also know I must trust.
Fast forward a couple of weeks, and I’m in a beautiful mosaic heart session. The person next to me picks out this heart of rocks to grout. My first thought was that it was going to be dark when grouted, then my heart expanded with the beauty of it! God was again showing me the rock image and I needed this heart for my desk. In this heart, I saw hope! For no matter when the rock bottom is hit, the climb out is tremendous and He holds our hand as we move off the bottom.
Signs of hope have been present ever since! God, I see you. God, I feel you. God, I am so grateful.