There is silence on the other end of the line as I spend a full 15 minutes rattling off everything that I predict will be the outcome of my current struggle. The possibilities I am presenting, with an assurance that they will occur, are all negative. I make no room for positive alternatives.

I take a deep breath and pause to receive condolences from the receiving party about how awful this is all going to turn out. However, the response is, “Where is your butt?”

Hmmm. Not what I was expecting or wanting to hear. I had spent hours in my head coming up with these carefully crafted scenarios and the response I will have to them. With those four simple words, the story I am weaving in my mind comes to a screeching halt. 

I have to humble myself and answer that my butt is not in today. It is in the past, and all that has gone wrong, and it is busy running ahead wreaking havoc in my future. And at that moment I get to make a choice.

Am I going to take a deep breath and come back to what I know is true right now at this moment? Am I going to conserve my energy to deal with what is or expend it on all the things that aren’t happening? I know which choice supports recovery and leads to sanity… choosing to be in today. 

For today… I am going to stay where my butt is. If you would like to join me, there is a chair open next to me!


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